THE ADORATION OF SAINT DONALD AT THE “VALUES” VOTERS SUMMIT IN D.C.
amazing and entertaining read!
Yesterday, laundries in and around our nation’s capital – as well as those of the very finest hotels, were kept buzzing deep into the early morning hours in a feverish attempt to get all the necessary sheets laundered, starched, and ironed, in order that the many delegates to the ultra-conservative Values Voters Summit could appear presentable. The summit will run until September 11th – at which time its closing will be marked by a real-time mass water-boarding demonstration of 100 immigrants – each being paid $10 to participate.
Gushed one attendee; “One always desires to wear a freshly laundered white sheet and hood, and in that vein, I should personally like to commend Ah Fong’s over on Main Street for their excellent ironing abilities. Those chinks can really press a sheet.”
Scheduled speakers – besides Donald Trump and running mate Mike Pence – will include Senators Tim Scott and…
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