Burned my life away

Why is it that something important, really important to some people, cannot be found.  Or the institution tells you that your records were burned in some fire. Could anyone prove if this was the truth? Especially when it might be an incident from many years ago?

I thought of this again after watching the movie Philomena last night, they were also told there was a fire that had destroyed everything.  Later on in the movie they find out  that “everything” but the relinquishment paper.  How cruel, and especially from where it came from, the nuns.  It was a very sad story.

During my husband’s search we were also told by the Salvation Army;which ran a home for unwed mothers in the 40’s till ?.that records had been burned in a fire.  The  Department of Social Services told us the same thing .  It was a 30 year quest to find his birth family, if we had those records sooner he might have seen his mother alive.  She died when she was 58, he is 65 now.  I don’t like to make accusations but how odd that both places that had his information told us records were burned.  Too bad some other organizations don’t have those problems, I’m sure there would be many people rejoicing  at news of a fire.

Luckily we finally found the truth when the 1930’s census was added to Ancestry.com two years ago.  It was a bittersweet victory, but a victory still because he was able to realize a lifelong dream to have a picture of his mom.

Like the birth mother in Philomena, things were so much different at that time.  Decisions were many times made for women not by them. There was so much heartache involved, I can only imagine the gut wrenching pain that came with giving your child  that you had carried inside of yourself  for nine months, away. All the while knowing you would probably never see them again.

It’s two thousand and fifteen now and we are still back in the dark ages when it comes to open records for adoptees, this is crazy and cruel.  I have personal friends, in their 50’s and 60’s who would like to know who they really are before they die.  Our states need to make this a priority, I have been on so many search sites where there are literally thousands of people on all sides of the Adoption Triad , searching.  Searching for information that many of us know about ourselves just because of circumstance or the luck of the draw.

I thought of this quote today; “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.Without them humanity cannot survive”

Let the courts find some humanity here, it’s time to stop the burning.


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