So well understand and said..thank you for sharing this,and surviving
It is the nature of the beast that when we become truly overwhelmed by depression, we begin to look for ways of stopping the pain. We become prepared to take decisive, extreme action.
The best way to think of depression is as though it is sentient, and actively trying to subvert your thought patterns to destroy you. Most things that feel counter-intuitive whilst depressed are usually better courses of action than the one’s that your depression will offer you. It does not want you to behave in a way that will destroy it.
At first, the idea of self-destruction presents itself as one solution among many. The thought for me is almost casual and I used to just ignore it. I now take it for the warning shot that it is. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, take that as your early-warning-system sounding an alarm. In the grip of depression all…
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