Sharing my song..Dancing
I wrote and recorded this song in 1970. I had been married to my first husband at the time for only a year. A close friend and fellow musician recorded it along with some others in his bedroom on a portable cassette player. That’s how things were sometimes done in those days and I would often write my songs that way as well. It’s a simple tune, yet seemed to always touch the audience.
Funny my youngest daughter ( 25) brought it up today. She was visiting and we were talking about her relationship with a guy she is not so sure about. It seems she and her sister( who is 41) were talking about the song last week , specifically the line “and will I ever find a man, who’ll make me feel the way I am”. They want that kind of realtionship, and think I have that now> It got me thinking do I and what did i mean by that line anyhow? I know it has to be “me myself and I” that makes me feel good. I know from much experience how often one can be disappointed putting that pressure on someone else. I also know I frustrated her when I went into my diatribe about what love is.
But the conversation also got me into thinking where was my head when I wrote the song? Knowing the man I married at 19, who I loved, had a number of really bad habits and didn’t even want me or a relationship anymore. The things he did to his body besides ultimately killing him prevented him from having any desires. At that age I did and equated his lack of desire with my self worth and not feeling lovable. Of course I dreamed of the “perfect” man who would understand me and love me and want me, because I knew I was far from perfect myself. That’s what I suppose I also fear. Do my daughters have an unreal sense of what a relationship is supposed to be? Do they really think my relationship now is “perfect”,and seek that for themselves? I told them there is thirty years of hard work here.
Nothing is perfect, noone is perfect. I give my advice to my youngest daughter that she should love herself first. Then in any relationship she should except no abuse, verbal or physical .Love someone who keeps her safe, opens doors, makes her feel special. I am old fashioned in that way I guess.
And what I really meant when I sang “who makes me feel the way I am”. was to feel
lovable,and isn’t that really what everyone wants?