confession

I am curious what the definition of “real abuse” is?  I shared something with a friend today, also in her 60’s. I shared how my brother had abused me, when i was in my early teens, and my one sister too. Most of it is vague memories, i know much is buried. It’s a defense mechanism.  It is probably early old age too, if there is such a term. 😉 

She then shared that an uncle had touched her breasts, and a boy walking by her, in her neighborhood back in the 1950’s. “He walked by, grabbed my breasts and then continued walking and laughing all the way”.What in the name of God gave him that right, or made him ever think he had that right? What ever made my brother think he had that right? 

I’m sorry, but i feel my friend has it all wrong, noone has a right,and it is and was all very “real”.

 She also went on to speculate how terrible it must be to really be abused, i.e., raped.

Now i’m not saying that being raped isn’t more horrific,and i thank God that i have never been subjected to that horror. But, isn’t it all bad, isn’t it all real? Does saying something isn’t real make it so? The ultimate defense mechanism,denial,downplay,disbelief.

I think when a someone is abused, in any form, it sucks part of their life from them.

They see the world and their place in it differently. Who they thought they were, they are no more.  They may not ever get that spirit that lived within them back again.

A missing piece, their abuser took from them had changed everything.

i know it changed me

and No i didn’t like it, by the way.

 

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. I totally agree, any abuse is real abuse! If someone does something that you don’t want, it’s abusing. And it hurts, a lot. It can break you.
    Lots of love,
    Patty

  2. Betrayal of the kind you experienced does change you, and not for the better. And definitely one defense is to minimize the pain of what happened. Objectively speaking, child sexual abuse involving penetration is generally more traumatic. Having something inside you without your consent simply does represent a greater loss of control and safety. But this does not mean what you suffered was not “real abuse.” It is all “real abuse.” Take care.

  3. Thank you for your insight Ashana. Perhaps one day i will share more of my story,there is alot more to be told.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Leigh's Life Lessons

I write to find my answers, to search my soul, to make my life more meaningful.

Subdued Flamboyance

Paradoxes of Life

Heart's Table

Love feeds & nurtures. Love is Life. Love the Lord.

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

bearspawprint

AN OLD WOMAN GETTING OLDER

The Breton Bird

Fashion. Beauty. Lifestyle

Simply Cornish

Celebrating Life One Day at a Time

Good Music Speaks

A music blog written by Rich Brown

Mithai Mumblezz

Thinks and again mumbles!!

Logical Quotes

60's flowerchild,herbalist,dreamer, seeker of truth,activist,crone,someone's lover

musings from a musical mind

60's flowerchild,herbalist,dreamer, seeker of truth,activist,crone,someone's lover

Natalie Breuer

Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.

A Word about Me

by Hina Khan Palwasha

LineSays

Pencil sketches and colors of life in line drawing with inspirational poetry

storytime katie

one librarian's journey into storytimeland

Reject Reality

The world as I see it, according to myself.

The Last Of The Millenniums

Just because it always has been, doesn't mean it always will be

Of life she writes.

A girl's journey to finding herself.

takingthemaskoff

addiction mental health stigma

Eléctrica in the Desert

News, photos, stories, and trouble from the borderland

kelzbelzphotography

My journey - The good, bad and the ugly

The Fifth Column

"News and views from around the world"

long story, short

home of 'for good measure' and other visits

A Day In The Life

People, Places, Nature, LIFE!

Art in the Catskills

by Simona David

Elan Mudrow

The Ridges of Intertextuallity

pipafineart.wordpress.com/

Helpful articles to improve your own nature and landscape photography explorations. You will also see stunning landscape and nature photographs created by award winning landscape and nature photographer Melissa Fague.

Awais Khan

Lost souls and arranged words

immabelike

Its all about me that I know......rest you all can let me know

Bralowski

Poetry and Stories by Zach Jackson

Thoughts of the Fallen

A collection of nonsensical words thrown together

sheila sea

like thalassic velvet

keithgarrettpoetry

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

rachelmankowitz

The Cricket Pages

No Milk Today

Allergy or Food Intolerance: Delicious Dairy-Free Recipes, DIY & more :)

Daniel Pátaro

cinema, exploração e fotografia

Iona the Iconic

Poetry Blog - Your daily dose of angst

KAYOGA Brescia

A.S.D Affiliata C.S.A.In Ente di promozione sportiva riconosciuto dal coni

ECHOES,REFLECTIONS AND MIRAGES

Pulakesh Upadhyaya's personal blog.

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

fresh hell trumps stale heaven

Chitra's Healthy Kitchen

Recipes for healthy living

DoubleU = W

WITHIN ARE PIECES OF ME

Diane Ravitch's blog

A site to discuss better education for all