Today is the fourth year anniversary of my mom’s death.  I know i am filled with more understanding and acceptance this year.  I also think besides it being time, there is such a different dynamic considering a close friend died yesterday at 65.  We were planning on driving the four hours it would take to get to her party.  I had chosen a pretty necklace for her, she was someone who really didn’t seem to fuss alot for herself and i thought it was something she would like and make her feel special.  Her life had been so stressful lately, and i could understand her vices.  She died from a heart attack, her husband said they took her in behind the doors and twenty minutes later came out and said she was gone.  It reminded me of what my mom had told us happened when my dad died from his heart attack at 55.  Sometimes it’s just too late. She never said goodbye. Neither did he.

My mom lived a very long life, and although she had some sadness throughout much of her years, the last 20 or so, were good.  I mark my life like that as well, i suppose the older we get the more apt some of us are to do that.  Portions of my early years i have blocked out, for they have no meaning. i embrace living each day for today gladly.

I think there will be no tears today for i have found a new perspective.  They will surely come soon enough at my friend’s wake,for there is raw heartache there.

I heard you were making party favors the other day.

It would have been a great party Charlotte

now you can Rest in Peace.

Love you♥


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